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But... only if I did something stupid. I couldn't think of a single screw-up in the month of December. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months... By February we had practically EVERY Punk in the scene looking for Salem. A month later, a dude named Dennis McLeary had stopped in and caught one of our gigs. We were playing our tribute to Salem. "Salem's Crucible" He was so moved, and impressed; not only by the lyrics, but also by the musical aptitude we had with Punk sound; that he signed us to Zion of Noiz Records. So, we began to bring our struggle to the Media.Jake and Bryan, our Bassist and Rythmn Guitarist respectivly, called FOX and had an interview with Bill O'Rielley. A.J., the singer of our band, hit the Papers. Kenny, the drummer, contacted Amber Alert. And me? I pulled a Joey Ramone and furiously began pumping out tribute and love songs to my beloved. Infact, we named one of our albums "The English is Missing" and it was the lovechild of all those songs. Anyhow... it had been. She missed having a man in the house. She missed having a man to talk with. What the Hell, she missed a man in the bedroom. Unfortunately, most of the men she encountered were ones who had been arrested for various crimes, from stealing chickens to stealing fortunes. She just wanted one that would steal her heart. That wasn’t even a misdemeanor, let alone a felony. Then she met Bill. Well really, he wasn’t Just Plain Bill, he was Bill Hersher, the elected sheriff of Huckleberry County. Technically, in our part of the country, he was the ‘High Sheriff’, one of a little over a hundred in our state. One for every county, you know. All sheriffs, pretty much everywhere are the highest elected police official in the state in which they reside. Except for a couple of counties in Georgia that is, where there is still a ‘Boss Hogg’ type of county government, a la the old TV series. But I digress. Although Bill was over a thousand miles from the West, he wore cowboy boots, jeans and a tan.
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